When the first date goes well, what should you do the next time you hang out with a girl?
The second date is just as important (if not more so) than the first date. It sets the direction of where the relationship will go, and whether or not the two of you will continue to hang out.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys screw up the second date because they don’t know how to structure it based on how the first date went. But with the right second date ideas, you can solve that problem.
So, what should you do with a girl on the second date?
Well, it depends on what happened on the first date. Specifically, there are three scenarios I’m talking about:
- You slept with her on the first date
- You brought her home and hooked up, but no sex
- You didn’t bring her home on the first date
Throughout this article, you’ll learn the significance of each of these scenarios, and the best second date ideas that accompany them.
In doing so, you’ll learn to take a more strategic approach and lead your women through the dating process. You’ll be the dominant man who knows where he’s going, and can take his women with him (versus the corny guy with no strategy, who keeps trying to take girls on picnics and wonders why he never gets laid).
(Remember: The goal isn’t to blow her away with an amazing date idea. You’re not trying to get her out with you for the idea. You’re trying to get her to hang out with you for you. The goal is to have a good interaction with her – one that can potentially lead to sex, a connection, and/or the beginnings of a fulfilling relationship.)
Let’s get into it.
15 Flake-Proof Second Date Ideas That Help You Get Laid
Second Date Scenario 1: You Slept With Her on the First Date
This is the ideal situation to be in for the second date, because the sooner you have sex with her, the better.
- Attraction has an expiration date. If you don’t move fast with a woman, her attraction will expire.
- You discover your sexual chemistry with her (or lack thereof). Sometimes, the pieces just don’t “fit” together well, if you know what I mean. So, the quicker you discover whether or not the two of you have sexual chemistry, the better. And the first date is better than the 7th or 8th.
- It kills your chances of landing in the friendzone. If you have sex with a girl and do it well, you will be solidly removed from the friendzone.
Now you might think that because you’ve already had sex with her, it doesn’t matter all that much what you do on the second date – but that’s flawed thinking.
After sleeping with you on the first date, she probably doesn’t know what to expect on the second date. She may feel a little awkward at first.
So, in this case it’s best to have sex very soon into the date. When you give her mind-blowing sex like this again, it’ll remove her doubts and help her relax throughout the rest of the date. Plus, it just about cements your chances of seeing her a third time, and makes sex a normal part of the relationship.
With this in mind, here are the best second date ideas for this scenario…
1. Dinner at Your Place (or Her’s)
This is my favorite second date strategy.
It’s simple, cheap, fun, and allows you to escalate things to sex again very easily.
If you’re not sure what to cook, you can go with one of these easy, healthy, 15-minute bachelor-style meals.
It’s usually best to sleep with her before you start cooking – that way, you can avoid bloated sex on a full stomach.
So, offer her a drink when she comes in, and tell her that you’ll start cooking in a little while. Then, make your move, kiss her, and bring her to the bedroom.
Once you’ve finished having sex, go back out to the kitchen with her, and take the lead when cooking the meal. Give her a few small tasks to do, like cutting up some of the veggies and washing the dishes afterward.
When she’s washing the dishes, you can go up behind her, hold her by the hips, and kiss her neck. This will turn her on and get her ready for round 2.
2. Drinks and Music at Your Place
Don’t like to cook? You can still make the “hang at your place (or her’s)” type of date work.
Invite her over for drinks and music. Either give her a beer or some wine, or if you know how to make a good drink, make it for her.
Have some relaxed, flirty conversation with her over the drinks, then bring her to the bedroom.
3. Movie/TV Show at Your Place
You’re probably picking up on a pattern here, right? It’s not rocket science – the best second date ideas when you’ve already had sex are to hang at your place or her’s.
Here, you offer her a drink when she comes in, and turn on something on Netflix. Then, early on into the movie or TV show, make your move and hook up with her.
Note: Don’t call it “Netflix & Chill” when you’re inviting her. That’s what guys do who haven’t had sex with her yet, and who probably will never have sex with her.
The movies, drinks, and dinner are all basically bridges to having sex with her again. They allow her to rationalize coming over (i.e. I’m just going over his place for dinner”), then when she’s there, she can have sex with you again without feeling slutty (i.e. like she just came over to get some good D).
Second Date Scenario 2: You Brought Her Home and Hooked Up, But No Sex on the First Date
You managed to bring her home on the first date, and maybe you even led her to the bedroom and hooked up with her. But for some reason or another, the two of you didn’t have sex.
Maybe she said she had to wake up early, has a “no sex on the first date rule”, or some other BS. But if we’re being honest, it’s probably because you didn’t give her the 4 things she needs from you before sex.
Sometimes – especially if you got her right to the edge (i.e. undressed and ready to, well, take that D) and then she shut down your sexual advances – you probably won’t see her again. She knows the next logical step on the second date is to have sex, and if she feels like she’s not ready for that, then she’ll probably either ignore your texts or flake on you.
Your best counter to this is to offer up a good second date idea. In this case, a low-pressure date that allows you to build comfort and trust with her, and doesn’t make her feel pressured to have sex with you.
Think about it: She’s a lot more likely to go for a date like this than a date at your house, where she’s most likely going to be in the same situation of denying your sexual advances.
(Note: Occasionally, you’ll notice that she’s ready for sex during a second date like this (especially if she gives you one or more of these 10 signs). You can either give her a casual invite back to your place or her’s, or let the sexual tension build up for the third date. She may even try to invite herself back to your place or take things back to her place – in that case, accept her advances and bring her home.)
With this in mind, here are the best second date ideas for this scenario…
If you’re thinking, “Dave, I’m about as flexible as a wooden 2X4,” I feel your pain. I’m not the most flexible cat out there either.
But still, I’ve done yoga for quite a few second dates. It’s a fun way to experience something new with the girl, and she’ll probably look sexy while she’s doing it. Plus, yoga releases all types of good endorphins that make you (and her) feel good, and she’ll associate those good feelings with being around you.
What’s more, it shows vulnerability and confidence. If you’re a guy and you’re willing to try yoga with a girl, she’ll think, “Okay, this guy really doesn’t give a fuck what other people think of him.”
5. Go to the Gym
This is a great one if you know a thing or two about working out.
Lifting weights, like yoga, releases tons of good endorphins. It also gives you an opportunity to lead her, show her some good exercises, and help her do them – all while you can flirt in a low-pressure environment.
Just don’t try to overextend yourself like a meathead and lift too much weight. It probably won’t get you laid.
6. Comedy Show
My dad is a comedian, and when I was younger, I took tons of girls on dates to his comedy shows. Is it weird to bring a girl to watch your dad tell jokes? Maybe, but I didn’t care and the girls didn’t seem to either (my dad makes a good wingman).
I learned that comedy shows are a great second date idea. They get you and the girl laughing, feeling good, and having fun in a social environment. Then you can follow up the show with some drinks at the comedy club or at a bar nearby.
7. Salsa Lessons
Physical contact, music, dancing, and a new experience – salsa lessons make for an awesome second date.
Just about every big city will offer some type of one-off salsa classes, so do some research and find a class in your area.
Throughout the lesson, the two of you will learn new things, and you’ll lead her through the dance. In doing so, you’ll naturally build trust and comfort with her, and she’ll feel more relaxed in your presence.
After an hour or so of salsa dancing, the girl may even get turned on – and at that point, you could have an opportunity to take her home and close the deal.
8. Improv Show
Improv shows are similar to comedy shows in terms of being fun second date environments – but the one bonus is that they are more interactive. So, you and your date can get a little involved in the show, shout out suggestions, and have fun with it.
Plus, improv shows are usually a little cheaper than comedy shows (depending on where you go), so you may be able to save a little more money.
9. Live Music/ Jazz Show
Live music – especially jazz – makes for a great second date. It’s best to go to a more chill place versus a big concert venue with a big-name artist.
Remember, you’re not trying to blow her away with the date idea – you want her to be hanging out with you for you. So save that extra Kendrick Lamar ticket for your buddy, and take her to the local bar with some cool live jazz music. That way you can talk, enjoy the music in the background, and have a drink or two.
10. Hit a Local Festival
This is more for the summertime or cities with warm weather climates. But a local festival can be a great place to bring a girl on a second date.
Many of them have fun little carnival rides, which can make for some hilarious times for a second date. Plus, there’s plenty of stuff to do, and some funny people-watching opportunities as well.
Just avoid any rides that might make your or your girl nauseous.
11. Museum Hopping
A lot of cities have free or discounted museums on Sundays, in case you’re dating on a budget. Museums provide a good, low-pressure environment with plenty of stuff to talk about and keep the conversation going.
They’re also a good, safe “breather” after you’ve taken her to the edge on the first date but couldn’t close the deal.
12. Something Touristy
This one can be perfect for you if you’re new to a city, or just haven’t seen some of the popular tourist destinations yet.
You can say, “Hey! I’ve been meaning to check out [Insert touristy thing in the city]. You want to go with me on Saturday afternoon?”
This doesn’t require much extra planning (because you were going to hit the tourist spot at some point anyway) and saves you time. Plus, it can lead to some fun second date adventures.
These are a couple of old go-to’s. Bowling and billiards both provide social environments, as well as opportunities to have fun and tease the girl (usually about her funny bowling shot).
Plus, since you’re actively doing something, all the focus won’t be on the conversation. So, both you and the girl will feel less pressure to find things to talk about, and this will make her more comfortable about actually coming out on the date.
Second Date Scenario 3: You Didn’t Bring Her Home on the First Date
Let’s first get this out of the way: The majority (i.e. 70% or more) of your first dates should finish up at your place or the girl’s place. That doesn’t mean you’ll have sex with all of those girls you bring home (that’ll obviously be a lower percentage), but it at least means you’re running your first dates the right way and leading the girl well.
If you rarely bring girls home on the first date, it’s a sign of one or more of the following:
- You don’t believe first date sex is possible and/or think that girls don’t want sex on the first date
- You’re not getting physical and making things sexual
- You don’t get the logistics in your favor
- You’re not moving fast enough
(To fix all of these issues, read this post: 7 Keys to a Better Quality First Date)
But even with solid game and fundamentals, you won’t be able to bring every girl home on the first date. So, in that case, what should you do on the second date?
Here’s the key: You need to get her home with you (or go back to her place) on the second date if you didn’t do so on the first. Otherwise, you’ll risk getting friendzoned, and also signal to the girl that you lack initiative. Plus, you’ll waste a ton of time getting to know a girl who you might not even have sexual chemistry with.
And so, these second date ideas are structured in a way that gets her back to your place (or you to her’s) as quickly and as easily as possible.
Here are the best second date ideas for this scenario…
14. Any of the Second Date Ideas from Scenario 1 – With a Twist
Yes, ideally she’ll just come right over to your place for the second date. And so, any of the first three ideas we mentioned in scenario 1 will do you good.
The twist is that you usually won’t be trying to escalate to sex quite as quickly (unless it’s clear that she wants sex right now). That’s because the two of you haven’t had sex yet, so that level of comfort isn’t there yet.
So, if you have her over for dinner, cook a light dinner, have a drink, and make the move afterward.
If you’re watching a movie together, kiss her a few times in the beginning parts, and then go for the hook up towards the middle or final third of the movie.
If you’re having drinks and listening to music, use some of these easy conversation topics and mix in some flirtation, then make the move for sex after about an hour or so.
15. Ice Cream/Exploring/Something Closeby Your Place or Her’s
Remember – in this second date scenario, the goal is to ensure that you get her back to your place (or you to her’s) during the early part of the date. And so, if you choose not to invite her straight over, you should opt for a quick activity closeby.
For example, you can check out the great ice cream place down the street, explore the park nearby, or check out the neighborhood farmer’s market.
Then, after about 30 minutes to an hour, invite her back to your place for drinks, a movie, music, etc. and make your move.
Wrapping Up Flake-Proof Second Date Ideas That Help You Get Laid
You now not only have a bunch of flake-proof second date ideas that help get you laid, but a roadmap for how to lead women through the dating process. Most men don’t take this kind of strategic approach outlined here, and in doing so, they screw up their chances with women, get laid a lot less, and miss out on women they could’ve had chemistry with.
So, take these second date ideas and infuse them into your dating process. Women will enjoy hanging with you more, you’ll get more third dates, and you’ll have a much higher probability of converting women into fuck buddies, girlfriends, etc.
Do you have any other favorite second date ideas that work well for you? Post them in the comments below!