Do you know how to have the sort of mind-blowing, orgasmic sex that women tell their friends about?
Or do your sex sessions fizzle out in a few minutes and end with a dud?
For most guys, it’s the latter. They don’t know how to give a woman the kind of sex she craves. It’s no wonder why so many relationships are in turmoil and so many women cheat.
To be frank, these women want some good D, and their man just isn’t delivering.
If you don’t give your woman good sex – whether she’s a girlfriend, fuck buddy, wife, etc. – she’s not going to stick around for long. And if by chance she does, you better believe she’ll be getting some on the side (even if you think she’s a “good girl” who would never do a thing like that).
On the other hand, here are some things you can expect when you’re great at sex:
- You’ll enjoy the sex a lot more yourself, and actually look forward to it instead of being insecure about it.
- Women will literally get hooked on sex with you – they’ll want to keep coming back again and again.
- Your girlfriend/wife will be a lot less likely to get some on the side.
- Your good sex reputation will spread, especially if you’re in a small social circle (and other women will get curious about you and want to see for themselves).
- You’ll be a lot more confident when flirting with women, because you’ll know you can give her a great experience in bed if it comes to that (whereas if you’re insecure about your sexual prowess, you’ll likely sabotage your chances with women to stop the possibility of sex happening, even if you don’t realize it).
(If none of those bullets above sound familiar, then you’re probably not great at sex just yet.)
So yeah, sex is pretty damn important. If you want to have any sort of fulfilling sexual relationships with women, you need to get good in the sack.
And even if you are great at sex, there’s always room for improvement. That way, you can keep yourself sharp and your woman satisfied.
But before we go any further, you might be thinking, “What the hell does this guy know about great sex?!”
For me, it’s been a long journey to great sex – hell, the first girl I ever kissed told me I was “one hell of a bad kisser,” so you can imagine my lack of prowess in the bedroom. But I’ve learned and improved a lot over the years…
And now, women frequently tell me I’m one the best sexual partners they’ve ever had (usually between bouts of orgasmic sex sessions).
You see, to give a woman great orgasmic sex you don’t need to have a gigantic penis, last for hours, or memorize all the special Kamasutra techniques. It’s a lot simpler and easier than that.
I’ve boiled great sex down to 7 fundamentals. If you can learn, internalize, and apply these fundamentals, women will literally crave sex with you (and have orgasm after orgasm).
Here are the 7 Fundamentals of Mind-Blowing Sex
1. The Build Up
As men, we can flick a switch and be ready for sex in seconds. Women want and enjoy sex just as much as men (if not more), but they usually need a little more build up before they’re ready to jump in the sheets (or get bent over the bathroom sink).
I’m not talking about foreplay here, although that’s important too (as you’ll see later). What they need is for you to get them in the sexual mood.
A big part of this is giving a woman the 4 things she needs before sex:
- She needs to feel comfortable with you
- She needs to feel that it’s worth the risk
- She needs to trust you
- She needs you to initiate it
(You should also learn how to have a sexy vibe around women.)
But this applies even to women whom you’ve already had sex with. You should make your conversations more sexual throughout the day, and perhaps even through a few texts to build sexual tension like, “I can’t wait to do more bad things to you tonight ;)”.
2. Maximized Skin-to-Skin Physical Contact
Okay, now for the actual sex part…
You want as much of your skin touching her skin as possible. This makes sex more personal and immersive. Plus, skin-to-skin contact increases the amount of pleasure hormones that are released.
It’s quite easy to maximize physical contact in many sexual positions. Here are a few tips:
- When fucking her in missionary, wrap your arms around her and hold the backs of her shoulders with your hands while lying on top of her (as opposed to hoisting yourself over her with minimal contact like in regular missionary).
- When fucking her doggy style, lean over and touch your chest to her back while you wrap your hands around her breasts.
- Again when fucking her doggy style, you can lie her down flat on the bed and lean over her back and kiss her neck as you take her from behind.
- When she’s riding you, move over and sit up on the edge of the bed with your legs on the floor. Your upper bodies should be parallel to each other. From here, you can grab her ass and move her up and down, and make full contact with her upper body.
Obviously you can use a little variation – your bodies don’t need to be fully touching at all times. But as a general rule, the more skin-to-skin physical contact, the better.
This is perhaps the biggest key to great sex. Without dominance, you won’t be able to get her off consistently and you’ll fuck her like a little wussy nice guy (if you can even manage to get her wet).
You see, it’s not enough to know how to lead women in conversation – you must also know how to lead women in the bedroom too. She wants you to take her along for the ride, tell her what to do, move her around confidently, and allow her to immerse herself in the experience. And for that, dominance is key.
Here’s how you can be more dominant in the bedroom:
- Don’t ask her to give you head. Tell her you want her to suck your dick, then sit on the edge of the bed and have her get on her knees and do it. Or, stand up next to the bed while she’s sitting on the edge, so that your dick is about face level with her, have her feel your erection from the outside of your pants, unzip it, and suck it (when she’s face level like this, she’ll usually go right for it).
- Don’t ask her to get into sexual positions. Move her into the positions you want so she can enjoy the experience.
- Pull her hair. For example, when you’re fucking her doggy style, lightly tug her hair from the roots so that her head bends backward a little, then kiss her neck.
- Fuck her doggy style in front of a mirror, pull her head up by the hair, and have her make eye contact with you as you take her from behind.
- Spank her. You can do this while fucking her, or even just bend her over a desk or chair and spank her a few times before you start having sex.
If you’ve never done any of this before (or if you’re a feminist with your panties all up in a bunch), this may all seem a bit extreme to you. But an overwhelming majority of women love all of this dominant behavior, and they’ll orgasm a lot harder when you do it.
In fact, in my experience, this level of dominance is just scratching the surface. There’s a lot more deep fantasies that women have that you can fulfill with dominance.
Women are not all the innocent little good girls that society would have you believe. With the right guy who knows the fundamentals, they open up sexual doors that they’d never even consider with their wussy nice guy boyfriends of the past.
(Note: Have a little caution with this stuff the first time you have sex with a girl. For example, she might like to get her hair pulled a little bit, but dislike getting spanked. If you try something a little bit and can sense she likes it, you can keep upping the level. You can also talk about what kind of stuff she loves to do in bed after you’ve had sex, and do it the next session.)
There’s a part of a woman that wants to be dominated, and there’s a part that wants to experience a wide range of emotions.
To be great at sex, you must cater to both of these needs. That’s a reason why all these romance novels are so popular. Women get wrapped up in the emotions of it all, and dream of a man who can give them the same type of emotional experience. It’s also why women need a little more build up before sex – they need to feel something with you before they can fully give themselves to you sexually.
Here’s how you can infuse more passion into sex:
- Connect with her on a deeper level before sex with emotional conversation topics like these.
- Make consistent eye contact with her when having sex (i.e. 50-60% of the time).
- Maximize physical skin-to-skin contact like I talked about before.
Aside from these things, sex is also more passionate when you immerse yourself in the experience.
Immersion is when you strip away all the bullshit and social conditioning, and be with your woman in the present moment – fully and completely. In this way, sex becomes a meditative experience for you and her.
In order to immerse yourself in the experience, you should learn to control your breathing (daily meditation with the Headspace app helped me A LOT with this).
You should also stop cycling through sexual techniques in your head, as this will take you out of the present moment. Instead, internalize these fundamentals. In other words, you won’t have to be thinking, “Okay I did X, now it’s time to try this other technique.” Instead, you’ll just need to think, “Okay, more dominance. Okay, now more variety. Etc.” until it becomes completely natural.
5. Clitoral and Vaginal Stimulation
One or the other isn’t enough – you need both – especially because many women out there have trouble orgasming from vaginal stimulation alone.
The problem is, most sexual positions don’t stimulate both. So, you should add some positions in your arsenal that do indeed stimulate both. Specifically, positions that allow your pelvis to slide along hers, as this will cause her clit to rub back and forth on your pelvis.
The positions from fundamental #2 (full contact missionary and edge-of-the-bed riding) both accomplish this. Try experimenting with other positions as well
Aside from sexual positions, you should also make sure to do some foreplay before actually having sex. This will prime both her clitoris and vagina and get her ready for an orgasmic experience.
6. Good Rhythm
You’ve probably heard the saying, “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.” Well, that’s true. Women enter a trance-like state during good, rhythmic sex, and this state is essential for an orgasm. So, you don’t want to be the guy constantly shifting around every few seconds and methodically thrusting, or the guy jack-hammering away the whole time like he’s on a construction site.
This is also part of the reason why women fancy those men who can dance well. They associate that good dancing rhythm with good rhythm in the bedroom.
So, how can you improve your rhythm? To start, you can take some dance classes (my preference is salsa). Not only will this help you naturally improve your rhythm, but these classes are also one of the best places to meet women.
Then, when you’re having sex, focus on more rhythmic thrusts. When you’re thrusting fast, go fast, and when you’re thrusting slow, go slow. The key is that whether you’re going fast or slow, you should try and keep your thrusts consistent. For example, don’t hammer away for two seconds, slow down for one second, speed it back up for 3 seconds, then pause for 5 seconds. It’s better to go fast for 30 seconds to a minute, then slow it down for thirty seconds to a minute.
Communication is important through all aspects of sex – before, during, and after.
The build up (fundamental #1) covers most of what you need to know for communication before sex, and I’m going to write a post very soon about communication after sex. So here we’ll talk specifically about communication during sex.
During sex, this involves dirty talk and moaning/groaning.
I found this a bit surprising, but girls tell me over and over again that most guys are silent during sex. Maybe it’s an ego thing, or maybe these guys just feel awkward, I’m not sure.
Here’s what’s interesting: just about every girl I’ve been with has loved that I moan during sex and oral sex. It pleasures them when they see that the experience (and what they’re doing) is pleasuring me. Now, I’m not grunting like Venus and Serena Williams during a tennis match, but I’m doing enough to show that I’m very much enjoying the experience – and they love it.
So, don’t be afraid to hold back – moan a little when she’s blowing you, riding you, etc. Think of it like positive feedback.
As for dirty talk…
Dirty talk is part of an immersive sexual experience. And so, dirty talk should NOT be logical at all.
The key is to say the right thing at the right time. For example, when you’re making out before sex, you can pull back, stare into her eyes, and say something like, “Babe, you’re so beautiful.” This will turn her on and further immerse her in the experience. But if you say the same thing while you’re railing her from behind and she’s about to cum, it’s a little awkward.
It’d be a lot better to say something like, “You’re my naughty little girl and you’re going to come all over me.” As another note, you should always talk dirty to a girl, whether it’s your first time fucking her or your hundredth time. But you should gradually increase the amount of dirty talk over time so you can kind of ease her into it.
Bonus Tip: Use Variety
Variety is the spice of life. You shouldn’t be doing the same things every time you have sex, or stay in the same position for the duration of the session.
On average you should switch up sexual positions every 8-10 minutes or less, or when you have the urge to try something new.
You should also aim to switch between dominance and passion. Maybe you bend her over the kitchen table and give her a quickie. Then, later on in the night, you have a long, sensual love-making session. You can even change it up during each sex session.
Here are some other ways you can add variety:
- Location (public places can be exciting)
- Number of orgasms
- Role playing
Wrapping Up the Fundamentals of Mind-Blowing Sex…
Great sex isn’t rocket science. If you want to have mind-blowing sex, all you have to do is stick to the fundamentals I’ve laid out here.
It’ll take a little work and you won’t nail all the fundamentals on your first try. But the more experience you get, the better you’ll be, and the more women will love having sex with you.
To recap, these are the fundamentals of mind-blowing sex:
1. The build up
2. Maximized physical contact
5. Clitoral and vaginal stimulation
6. Good rhythm
Bonus: Use variety
So get out there and start applying these fundamentals in the bedroom. Your woman will thank you for it, and she might just rave to her friends about you afterward.
P.S. Are you struggling to get to the “sex part” with women? If so, you need to improve your conversation and flirting skills. That’s exactly what I show you how to do in my best-selling book. Click below to check it out: