The following is a contribution from Sky Penderis. Sky is the Founder and Executive Coach of Charmformula.com He works with students to achieve their goals with dating and relationships. To find out more checkout: charmformula.com/coaching.
Many men want to be unforgettable…
Especially in their interactions with women.
But how do you make an unforgettable impression?
It’s so much deeper than just talking to women. It’s something that influences all interactions. Wearing a dinosaur outfit every day will definitely make you unforgettable, but being remembered for your natural presence will open up doors.
This will also create connections, and help you have awesome conversations and interactions.
I’m talking about the unspoken rules of the killer first impression.
So how can you make that first impression?
Good posture is important because it communicates confidence. But you need to do more than simply stand up straight (although that’s a good start).
Sliding from standing to seated with the precision of 007. Not slouching once seated and keeping that posture generates an appearance of a high-value man. You can change your posture by standing with your back to a wall. Placing your heels back and head are against the wall. Walking away from the wall you should maintain this posture. Practicing good posture a few minutes a day for a couple of weeks can have a drastic effect on how you are perceived.
Move slower than you would naturally. As if you are moving through water not air. This makes all your actions seem deliberate and you come across as being fully in control of yourself.
Women will pay attention to a man who appears to be fully in control of himself. Women like this because erratic behavior can be dangerous. In nature a man with erratic behavior is dangerous to the group, the woman and her children. It’s rare for women to see a man who is fully in control, so when they do see it… they are uncontrollably drawn to it.
Women can spot the difference between a real and fake smile a mile away. It’s important that when you smile, it’s genuine. Fake smiles kill social interactions super fast. People will become dismissive and cold very quickly after a fake smile.
Smiles usually include a set of pearly whites, but there’s a little more to it than that.
The secret to detecting a real smile is that most people can’t voluntarily control their orbicularis oculi muscles. This means your eyes scrunch up on the sides and bottom, which creates crow’s feet and makes your eyes slightly narrower.
Starting an interaction with a smile always gets the best results. You come across as friendly and non-threatening.
4. Tone of Voice
A lower tone of voice is always better but not essential. Studies have found that the lower the pitch of a man’s voice, the higher his testosterone level, which itself is an indicator of his genetic quality and sexual fitness. You should avoid a nervous, stammering voice. If you want to change your tone and pitch of your voice, just speak slower and from your chest.
Speaking slower allows you time to concentrate on lowering your pitch and will help with any nervous jitters. It has an added benefit of making you come across as thoughtful because you seem to think deeply about what you say.
5. Opening Line
It’s not what you say… it’s how you say it. This has never been truer than with the opening line. The purpose of the opening line is to get the conversation going, not to impress the crowd.
Choose something fun and open-ended, and deliver it with confidence in a calm way. The purpose is to get her to interact with you not to win her over with “Hi”.
Don’t be a club clown! Too many guys try too hard to be “entertaining”. This just comes across badly.
Women know the guy is just putting on a show to get attention. Instead of doing this, you should be more challenging – not a pushover or entertainer.
Trying to get every girls number at the club seems like you are just trying to get laid. Its better to comes across as if you’re just having fun and you just happened to be meeting women tonight. Then you found someone who captured your interest.
You are asking her questions to try figure out if she’s the kind of woman you like. Men who challenge women are seen as strong and dominant.
7. Be Grounded
Stay in the interaction if she challenges you back. Men tend to leave when a woman starts becoming a challenge. But leaving the interaction when a woman challenges you is a mistake.
Treat it like a game and persist a little longer. Once she has stopped challenging you then you can rejoin your friends. Give her some space to miss you.
When you go back later you might notice there is less challenging behavior from her.
8. Don’t Forget the Friends
It is a mistake to ignore her friends. Men who ignore the friends go home alone. The friends are either your worst enemies or your allies. They can block and hinder your attempts at talking to their friend, unless you turn them into allies.
Introducing yourself to the group and engaging in conversation with them will go a long way.
You can achieve this by complementing the friends. “Wow great shirt! Where did you get it?” This will bring you closer to the group. Be interested in the subject matter that they are talking about and listen to them. People Love to talk about themselves so let them talk. Once they are your new friends they might even assist you. Even helping you hook up with their friend.
Creating a killer first impression is the sum of many qualities. As you become a master of more qualities your overall impression will improve. The more you practice, the more you internalize, and less you need to think about it.
Then you will walk up to a beautiful woman and start a conversation and wonder why it’s going so well. Then quickly reminding yourself that you worked hard on your first impression.