Think of your mindsets as your foundation.
With a solid foundation, you can build something amazing and strong.
But with a shaky foundation, you have a house of cards. If one little thing goes wrong, it can send the whole thing toppling down – and you along with it.
Adding to that, a good mindset will help you to take the right action most of the time. Even if you’ve never faced a particular situation before, you’ll be able to react calmly and efficiently…
On the opposite end, a negative mindset may cause you to freak out and react in an unhelpful way.
Your mindset is especially important when it comes to dating and conversation.
For example, let’s say you’ve hung out with a girl a few times. Things seem to be going well – you have fun together and you seem to connect with each other easily.
But let’s say you’ve unconsciously adopted a negative mindset, like “I need women to prove my self-worth.”
So, when she doesn’t text you back for a day, your mind starts flooding with insecurity. “Has she figured me out? I knew I wasn’t good enough after all! Wait, who does this girl think she is? I’m gonna show her!”
Then, you lash out and tell her you deserve better and you can’t believe she’s being so inconsiderate.
She explains that she was just studying for a test, and she can’t believe you’re such an asshole. That’s the last you hear from her.
You see, if you have a bad mindset, it doesn’t matter how successful you are with women.
The second you get a negative signal from a girl, it can trigger a downward spiral. That’s because you’re confidence and self-worth will be dependent on the approval of women.
But with a good mindset, you can brush things off more easily and move on.
What’s more, you’re far more likely to say the right things in conversation.
For example, if you have a positive mindset like, “All women are attracted to me until proven otherwise,” you’ll talk to a woman like she’s attracted to you. In doing so, you’ll be more flirtatious, confident, and naturally more sexual. You’re far more likely to move the conversation towards what you want (like sex or a future date).
Remember: Your mindsets dictate your thoughts, your thoughts dictate your actions, and your actions dictate your results.
And that leads us to one of the most important mindsets for attracting women…
The Assume Attraction Mindset
Most women aren’t going to come straight out and tell you they like you.
This poses a problem for most guys, especially those on the newer end of the spectrum.
You spend your time searching for signs that a woman is attracted to you (all while you don’t really understand how to read those signs).
The result? You move slower with women as you struggle to read the signs. And when you don’t get the signs you think you need, you avoid making a move. In doing so, you lose your chance with the girl.
But there is a solution to this…
You must assume attraction from all women until proven otherwise. And by “proven otherwise,” I mean until she literally walks away or flat out tells you she isn’t interested.
(Sidenote: Be smart about this. Obviously don’t cross the line and make women uncomfortable with unwanted physical advances. If she says no, then stop.)
Here’s what this mindset looks like in action…
“She’s Into Me”
Is she dressed nice? It’s because she’s trying to impress you. She’s playing with her hair? She’s into you. She’s standing with good posture? It’s because she wants you to notice her breasts and her butt popping out.
Every single sign she gives you is a sign of attraction and interest.
Compare this to the “innocent until proven guilty” nice guy approach. This guy writes off all those signs. For example: “Oh, she’s playing with her hair? She must just be adjusting it;” “She made eye contact with me? Oh well, she probably has a boyfriend.”
You must take the first approach. When you see and interact with women you’re interested in, you must treat them like you’re going to date them and bring them home.
Think of all the ways this mindset can come in handy…
- You see a pretty girl sitting in the café? Assume she will be attracted to you and go introduce yourself.
- A cute girl from your improv class starts talking to you after class? Assume she’s interested and ask if she wants to grab a drink.
- A girl is out with you on a date? Assume she wants to go home with you and ask if she wants to go back to your place for a drink.
- Texting a girl to try and get a date? Assume she’s already interested and cut to the chase.
By assuming attraction, you’ll give yourself the best chance with women in every interaction.
Assuming attraction won’t make women magically fall all over you. If a girl isn’t interested in you, “assuming attraction” won’t be enough to flip her.
But if you approach them confidently, most women will be at least a little intrigued and open to you. By assuming attraction, you’ll filter out the women who wouldn’t have been into you anyway, and give yourself a much better chance of attracting the women who are at least open to you.
What’s crazy is your reality starts to reflect your beliefs. When you assume women are attracted to you, you’ll start acting like it. You’ll make more sexual innuendos, lead women, have a sexier vibe, and put yourself in a position to succeed. You’ll be more comfortable interacting with women because you won’t be worried about picking up on their signs of attraction.
Action Tip: Write down 2 thoughts that come to your head when you see a girl you’re attracted to. Ask yourself: Are they empowering?
Your mindsets are crucial for your success with women. The “Assume Attraction” mindset is just one of the mindsets you need. For the rest of the “Casanova Mindsets” and how to apply them in your life, check out my new best-selling book, Conversation Casanova: How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro.