This is a guest article from my good friend, former roommate, and podcast co-host, David De Las Morenas of HowToBeast.com.
Let’s be honest: most guys go to the gym because they think it will help them get laid.
Maybe that’s not the ONLY reason they go, but it most certainly is one of their motivations.
So, for you guys who already work out in hopes of increasing your success rate with women: does it actually make a difference?
And for you lazy guys who are considering going to the gym because you think it might help you get girls: is it actually worth your time?
A Quick Reality Check
Before we dive into the specific ways that working out, building muscle, and burning fat will affect your interactions with women, let’s review some obvious facts:
- If you are extremely overweight or extremely scrawny, then people are clearly going to perceive you less favorably than if you were not. And most likely you’re also going to have some body image issues that hinder you confidence and self-esteem. I’m not hating, but this article is mainly aimed at the majority of men that fall somewhere in between those extremes.
- Everyone has different preferences. The same way that some of your buddies probably find some girls super attractive who you do not, some women are going to find different body types more attractive than others. This article aims at analyzing and covering general trends that apply to the vast majority of women.
- As a personal trainer and fitness professional I feel obligated to say that there are so many other HUGE benefits to working out and lifting weights that all men should participate regardless of whether or not it helps you with women.
Perception and External Benefits
Ok, now that we got that out of the way, let’s get into it.
We’ll start by going over the external benefits that lifting weights has on attracting women. By this I mean benefits that relate to how other people perceive you.
When you follow an optimal weightlifting plan and eat a solid diet, you can expect to gain muscle and lose fat. Over time, these changes will add up and you’ll start to look noticeably different.
Your chest, back, and shoulders will be broader. Your waist will be smaller. Your arms will be bigger. You’ll likely even grow a firm, juicy butt :).
All of these things will change how other people perceive you. It will affect their first impression, even if they don’t realize it. We simply react differently to people based on how they look. Given how many people we encounter on a daily basis, we have no choice but to trust our gut instincts and allow our subconscious minds to form quick opinions.
By being noticeably in shape, you put yourself ahead of every single other guy who is not. All other things being held equal (confidence, experience, environment, genetics, etc.) women will be more attracted to you on average.
A 2002 study comparing the sexual histories of a variety of men proves these assertions:
“Males with high SHR (shoulder to hip ratio) reported sexual intercourse at an earlier age, more sexual partners, more extra-pair copulations (EPC), and having engaged in more instances of intercourse with people who were involved in another relationship (i.e., having themselves been EPC partners).”
In other words, men with broad shoulders and narrower hips have way more sex. And, as we talked about, lifting weights and building muscle will broaden your shoulders and narrow your waist and hips. It will improve this exact ratio.
The truth is that aside from improving your style, getting in shape is the closest thing to a ‘quick fix’ for appearing instantly attractive to women.
Inner Game and Internal Benefits
Now let’s review how working out and building muscle will improve your ‘inner game’ and boost your self-confidence.
First of all, just by improving your body you will realize a large improvement in confidence and self-esteem. You will be more satisfied when you look in the mirror, and you will carry yourself with more pride and swagger because of it.
This is the biggest reason most people go to the gym in the first place.
Aside from that somewhat-obvious internal benefit, you’ll also build confidence as a result of the actual process of going to the gym. This is for 3 main reasons:
When you make the gym a habit, and you go at least 3 times every week, you build loads of self-discipline. By making a commitment to yourself – and keeping it – you build trust in yourself. And when you trust yourself to do new things, this inevitably spills into other areas of your life. Things like approaching women, going on dates, and putting yourself out there won’t seem nearly as intimidating.
2. Measurable progress
When you go to the gym, you should follow a structured strength training routine. This makes it easier to actually work out, because you no longer have to worry about what you’re going to do each time, and it also makes sure you see progress. When you notice that your bench press is going up by 5 pounds every week, you will experience deep feelings of personal growth and fulfillment. Making progress in one area of life is an easy way to motivate yourself to do the same in other areas.
3. Physiological improvements
And lastly, I want to review the actual physiological changes that take place as a result of lifting weights and working out. Obviously you will build lean muscle tissue and burn fat, but that only covers the outermost benefits. You will also lower your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, increase your bone density, improve your coordination, improve your posture… the list goes on and on. Essentially your body will be functioning at a higher level, and this will help you do EVERYTHING that you do on a higher level… especially stressful situations like first dates and approaching cute girls.
In conclusion, working out and lifting weights will have a HUGE impact on your life, and your interactions with women. On one hand, they will perceive you as more attractive. And on the other hand, you will also act more confidently and have higher self-esteem. It’s really an obvious choice.