Conversations can seem pretty tough..
You have one person standing in front of you, who you don’t know much about…and you have to figure out how to manufacture some sort of connection.
And that task can seem even more daunting when that person is a beautiful woman.
For a lot of guys, their minds either draw a blank, or start running a million miles per minute.
“What do I say? What if she thinks I’m stupid? What if she gets bored?”
The result? The conversation stalls out. And the guy beats himself up over it.
If this sounds familiar to you – don’t sweat it. It happens to every guy at one point or another. But there’s an easier way to make the conversation flow…and it doesn’t require you to employ a bunch of intricate conversation tricks. Hell, you don’t even have to talk that much.
(I still talk a lot because I can’t resist cracking ridiculous jokes.)
In fact, if you’re doing it right, the girl will be talking more than you.
It all comes down to asking the right questions. A few simple, pointed questions can draw her interest and open the conversation.
Of course, every conversation is different – so there’s no one set of questions that will always apply. You’re going to have to think on your feet a little bit.
I will give you some powerful (and simple) questions to point you in the right direction — but more importantly, you’ll learn how to structure your questions, so that you can further the conversation instead of lead it to a dead end of awkward silence.
If you do this right, you’ll be able to transform women from being cold and closed off, to warm and open.
Sidenote: These questions, along with the question structure, are relevant to any conversation, whether you’re chatting with the hottie at the bar, a networking event, or any random situations you find yourself in.
Sound cool? Let’s get started.
Why Questions are Important
This is counterintuitive, but when you prompt people to tell you about themselves, they actually perceive you as more interesting…even if they barely know anything about you.
Scientists have found that talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers of the brain that are associated with food and money.
(This is why it’s so tempting to go on and on about yourself. If you do so without being asked, it’s really fucking annoying. Just think about when your friends go on and on about something without any prompting. But that’s what a lot of guys do. And guys who are successful/proud of their career tend to do it even more. They think it’s cool, and the girl will like them for it [she won’t].)
And the best way to prompt people to do so is to ask the right questions.
Questions that allow the other person to open up to you and talk about the stuff they really care about.
And then, to listen and relate, and follow up to their responses.
By asking the right questions and taking the time to listen to their responses, you’ll get paid back tenfold. They undoubtedly will reciprocate and show a lot of interest in your life.
How to Structure Your Questions
There are two main types of questions we’ll deal with here: Short-answer questions, and open-ended questions.
Short-Answer Questions: Ask too many of these types of questions in a row, and you’ll find yourself deep in “interview mode” on a conversational path that leads to nowhere. These are the questions that only require a one word response, like:
- “Where did you go to school?”
- “What do you do?”
- “Where are you from?”
Now, it’s okay to ask these types of questions, especially at the beginning of the conversation. In fact, it’s almost necessary. But, unless you follow up with open-ended questions, the conversation will fall flat.
Open-Ended Questions: These questions require a deeper and more extended response. More than yes/no, or one word. These are your money questions. If you can master these, you’ll be able to open up almost any conversation. Here’s how you can mix these in with short-answer questions:
You: “What do you do?”
Her: “I’m a lawyer.”
You: “Cool cool. How did you get into that?”
Her: “Well, my dad was a lawyer and ever since I was a kid, I…[blah blah blah]”
You: “Oh wow, that’s awesome. What do you like about it?”
Her: “Well, I really like helping people and…”
The key with open-ended questions is that you need to dig a little deeper. For example, instead of asking “Did you like it?”, ask “What did you like about it?”
And remember: You need to balance short-answer questions with open-ended questions.
Powerful Questions to Ask
- What do you like about your job?
- What was it like growing up there (where they grew up)?
- If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?
- What’s your dream job?
- Where are your favorite places to go out in [the city you’re in]?
Here’s something interesting that happens when you ask the right questions: she’ll ask the right questions back to you. And then, you can talk about yourself in a more high value way. When a girl asks about what you do, and then you explain it to her, it’s better than if you tell her without any prompting. But even more importantly, the conversation will flow and you’ll both learn about each other.
So, get out there, use this structure, and start having awesome conversations with women.
Read More: The Biggest Key to “Getting Good” with Women
Want to learn how to attract women through conversation? Hundreds of guys have asked me how to do just that. So, I put my proven conversation system into a book, so that any guy could use it to attract women with his words.
This new book is called Conversation Casanova, and you can get it for just 99 cents HERE or by clicking the banner below: