“How do I stop running out of things to say..?” 

“How do I get through dreadful moments of silence..?” 

“How do I make deeper connections with women..?”

Have these questions ever crossed your mind?

These are some of the top questions I get from my readers and coaching clients.

And it’s no surprise – It’s difficult to build great conversation skills. There are a lot of emotions, fears, and doubts involved.

But in order to truly connect with a woman, you need to use your words.

This is how you find out her deeper aspirations, her personality, and whether or not she’s the type of girl for you.

This is how you ask her the questions that will give the interaction a deeper meaning.

What’s more, this is how you make her FEEL something. And if you can make a woman feel good emotions, she can’t help but be attracted to you.

So, how can you connect with women through conversation? Are there any “conversation cheat codes” to make this process easier?

Well, the short answer is yes…

But before we get into it, you should know something…

The more you focus the conversation on the girl, the better. You see, talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers of the brain that are associated with food and money. So, the more she talks about herself, the more connected she’ll feel to you.

And in order to truly get her to talk about herself, you need to infuse emotional topics into the conversation.

Sure, it’s nice to talk about the new club downtown, or how it sucks when it’s raining outside – but those are conversations she can have with anyone. You want to move to topics that aren’t universally relatable for everyone. That’s how real connections are formed, and that’s what this post is all about…

Bonus: Download my Free Conversation Cheat Sheet and get 5 proven hacks to master conversation and connect with women.

(Note: It’s best to weave these topics into conversation. Don’t formulaically cycle through them like a robot. Allow the conversation to flow and evolve. Also, try to relate back to her responses with something relevant from your own life. This shows her that you “get her” and that you’re actually interested and paying attention.)

WIth this in mind, here are 5 conversation topics that make it easy to talk and connect with women…

1. Her Experiences 

her experiences

Perhaps you’ve both gone scuba diving, or traveled to Vietnam. Or perhaps she quit her job and moved to a beach town to become a whale shark tour guide.

We’ve all had memorable experiences – good and bad, uplifting and scary. Experiences are tied to emotions – we’re always feeling “stuff” when we go through them.

That’s why they’re such a great topic. They can lead to amazing stories and tons of emotions, as well as unique ways to relate to each other.

Here are some questions that can get you to this topic:

  • “What made you want to come to this city?”
  • “What was your last big adventure?”
  • “Where is your favorite place you’ve traveled?”

Once you get her talking about this, you can dive deeper and ask questions like: 

  • “How did it feel when you did X?”
  • “What was it like to do X?”

When you ask these types of questions, you’ll tap into the emotions she felt when she had those experiences.

2. Her Dreams

dreams

What does she really want to do with her life? What are her biggest aspirations?

Everybody thinks about their dreams – but not everybody gets to talk about those dreams. That’s because most people never think to ask them.

But given the opportunity, most people would love to talk about their dreams and aspirations. That’s why it brings up all sorts of good and hopeful emotions.

Here are some questions that can get you to this topic:

  • “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
  • “What’s something you want to achieve this year?”

Once you get her talking about this, you can dive deeper and ask questions like: 

  • “How would it feel to do that?”
  • “How would your life change if you accomplish that?”

3. What She Loves to Do

loves to do

What do you love to do? Think about it for a minute…

No, really. Do it.

Did you think about it? Okay, good…

How did it feel? You probably pictured yourself doing those things, and you probably felt similar emotions as when you did them, right?

For me, I love performing on stage. Every time I think about it, I picture my past performances when there were huge crowds cheering for me, and I was killing it. It brings up a feeling of excitement.

When women talk about the things they love to do, the same thing happens. They feel those good emotions, and they associate those good emotions to being around you.

Here are some questions that can get you to this topic:

  • “What do you absolutely love to do?”
  • “What kind of activities set you on fire and get you excited?”
  • “What kinds of things make you laugh the hardest?”

Once you get her talking about this, you can dive deeper and ask questions like: 

  • “What do you love about X?”
  • “How do you feel when you do X?”

4. Her Passions

Maybe she's passionate about these flower thingies (they seem cool)

Maybe she’s passionate about these flower thingies (they seem cool)

What passions drive her? Maybe she loves traveling, or perhaps she’s extremely passionate about volunteering.

Her passions are another highly emotional topic. People love talking about them. What’s more, a woman’s passions can tell you a lot about her – as well as give you a glimpse into whether you are a good fit for each other.

You may find that you have similar passions, which makes it very easy to relate and connect with her.

Here is a question that can get you to this topic: “What are you most passionate about?”

Once you get her talking about this, you can dive deeper and ask questions like: 

  • “What makes you passionate about X?”
  • “How do you feel when you’re following that passion?”

5. Her Motivations

What is her deeper "why?"

Why does she want the things she wants? What are her true motivations? Most men never dig this deep…

They ask questions like, “What do you do?” She responds with something like, “Oh I’m a lawyer.” He follows up with, “Cool! Do you like it?” to which she responds, “It’s okay, and what about you?”

That’s the foundation of a boring, polite, platonic conversation. And that’s exactly what you DON’T want…

Instead, try to figure out exactly why she wants the things she wants. When you do this from a place of curiosity, it shows that you’re interested and not afraid to dive a little deeper. It’s quite the pattern interrupt but that’s a good thing.

Here are some questions that can get you to this topic:

  • “What made you want to get into that?” (If she’s discussing her career or college major)
  • “What made you do that?” (If she’s discussing a story or a choice she’s made)

Once you get her talking about this, you can dive deeper and ask questions like: 

  • “Now that you’re doing X, how do you feel about it?”
  • “Why did you want to accomplish X?”

***

The more you dive into these kinds of emotional topics, the easier you’ll connect with women. You’ll stop having polite, “just friends” conversations (like most men who have disappointing dating lives). What’s more, you’ll start sparking attraction with your words, and find that A LOT more women are “into you.”

So, use these with caution, and break them out when you genuinely want to connect with women.