If you aren’t teasing girls the right way, you’re probably missing out on A LOT of opportunities.
What’s worse, when you tease her the wrong way, you risk:
- Offending her
- Making her feel insecure
- Hurting her
- And overall causing her to dislike you
These are all things women don’t soon forget…
(She still may laugh at these teases, but it’ll still sting, and she’ll probably close up.)
The problem is, guys have misconceptions about what it means to tease women. Part of this stems from the thinking that “you need to be a jerk” to attract women, and part of it stems from general social inexperience.
But teasing is essential to a flirty, fun conversation that attracts her to you. It’s also important for separating you from the pathetic “nice guys” who constantly try to kiss her ass and please her.
For me, teasing has always been a bit natural. That’s because my dad is a comedian, and I was lucky enough to attend many of his shows. He works the crowd like Don Rickles, and teases everybody.
I began to internalize his style and slowly refine it. His delivery of teases is powerful (as you can see below), and always draws laughs.
With this in mind, let’s break down teasing into two steps: 1) what to avoid and 2) how to tease her the right way.
The Wrong Teasing: What to Avoid
Don’t tease girls about sensitive topics that may offend them. You should inherently know what most of these topics are. Topics like:
- Physical features
- Social skills
She’s likely to take these types of teases as insults.
So you’d want to avoid making jokes like, “I can’t believe you thought that was true. What’s going on in that head up there?” (insinuating she’s dumb).
And you definitely, DEFINITELY, want to avoid making any sort of jokes about her weight. There’s no quicker way to get yourself in the doghouse with a woman.
Don’t tease her about things you don’t like about her. That’s an easy way to come off as passive-aggressive. For example, let’s say you don’t like the fact that she doesn’t eat healthy….
It’d be kind of a dick thing to say, “You look pretty good for someone addicted to sugary foods…”
Nobody likes hearing that they suck. What’s worse, she’ll feel like you’re judging her. And if you’re judging her about one thing, what’s to say you’re not going to judge her for something like sleeping with you quickly? In short, this is a good way to cockblock yourself and make her feel shitty.
Putting Her Down
You also don’t want to make her feel bad for what she likes and dislikes. This puts her in an awkward position because she feels bad for being who she is. And if she can’t feel like she can be herself around you, you’re as good as done.
“What’s your favorite TV show? And please don’t say The Bachelor.”
Teasing the Whole Time/ Being a Clown
You should weave teasing into the conversation – but the conversation shouldn’t be one long tease. Women will start to question why you’re never serious, and they’ll even start to get annoyed. They’ll feel like you’re trying to hide something behind your mask of constant humor.
Instead, try to strike a balance between teasing and having meaningful conversation.
Making Fun of Yourself
Self-deprecating humor can be funny around your boys, and it might draw a laugh from her – but it usually won’t help you get a date. Things like making fun of your weight, your difficulties with women, etc. A lot of comics do this all the time. But when it comes to flirting and teasing women, self-deprecation usually isn’t worth the laugh.
How to Tease Her the Right Way
Now you know what to avoid. But you still need to know what to do right. You can use these techniques to tease women better than the majority of men (and she’ll love you for it).
As a note, you should deliver most of these with slight grin on your face (like the one we talked about in “How to Have a Sexy Vibe Around Women.”
Absurdifying is the art of taking a normal topic and making it a little ridiculous. This is a fun and playful way to tease her, and one of my personal go-to’s. It also makes the conversation more intriguing because it’s less predictable and more unique.
Her: “I’m from Pennsylvania.”
You: “Nice, I love Pennsylvania. Are you a city girl or did you come straight out of Amish country?”
She has to qualify herself as to why she’s not from amish country, which is bound to be a ridiculous and fun conversation.
Bring Yourself Into It
When you include yourself, it creates a fun, “we’re in this together” type of vibe, which is important for building a connection.
My dad does a great job of this in his comedy routine (in the video at the top). Give it another watch and see how he includes himself in all the teases, so both the crowd and the people he’s teasing can feel good and get a laugh.
And here’s a conversational example:
“Oh, so you’re a psych major? You’re probably reading my mind right now, aren’t you? I’m on to you.”
Stereotype Her in a Fun Way
Here, you basically play off the stereotypes of something she tells you.
“Oh, you’re a country girl? So what do you do when you’re not square dancing or listening to “Chicken Fried”?
“A Boston girl, huh? So you’re not familiar with the letter “r”?”
You can challenge her with something like a “thumb wrestle”. If you’re on the dance floor, you can give her a playful “hip bump,” then step back and jokingly challenge her to a dance off (this is a great way to attract women at the nightclub).
This is especially great if she has an accent and/or says a word particularly weird. You can exaggerate her accent or mimic the particular word.
For example, a lot of Spanish speaking girls have trouble saying the “i” in words like “pill”, “give”, and “pick”. They pronounce it like an “e” (i.e. pill = peel). So I always have a good time mocking their pronunciations of these words.
Playfully Disagree With Her
Playfully disagree with her about something and turn your back.
“I can’t believe you don’t watch Game of Thrones. We can’t be friends anymore,” and then turn your back and pretend to walk away for a few steps.
Accuse Her of Hitting On You
This is funny, but also reverses the roles. She’s used to being the prize, but when you accuse her of hitting on you, you flip the script. Now she’s the one trying to seduce you.
“Are you hitting on me right now?
“I see what you’re trying to do. But I’m not that easy!”
“I saw you checking me out over there. I’m not a piece of meat you know.”
“Okay, we can go back to my place. But only if you promise not to try anything.”
Teasing is all about being self-amused and light-hearted. You should be enjoying yourself, and not aiming to impress her with the quality of your jokes. Teasing should help you connect with her while also help you express your personality.
One more note – don’t be afraid to straddle the line with the occasional crude joke or sexual innuendo. It’s okay to take risks, and fortune favors the bold.
Play around with these techniques a bit and start teasing women more today.