Do you find yourself absolutely clueless when it comes to working the nightlife scene and talking to women? You go out weekend after weekend with poor results, and you just can’t seem to figure out why? You have some fun drinking with your buddies, but you leave with an empty feeling?
This is a touchy subject because most guys hate to admit this is a problem. Instead of handling it, they give up too soon and get “tired of partying.”
The nightlife scene can be confusing at first, especially right after college, because it is a different environment with different dynamics. But if you can escape your comfort zone just a bit, you can have a great time and some epic nights. I’ve been going out consistently (3-4 nights per week) for around 6 months. In that time, I’ve gained some valuable insights that will help you to better understand and improve your nightlife experiences.
Here are 7 surprising insights I’ve learned about nightlife (and talking to women):
1. Most Guys Are Absolutely Clueless
Most guys have absolutely no idea what they’re doing. They’ll go out to the bar/club to have fun and talk to girls. Instead, they’ll get belligerently drunk and follow their friends around the whole time while creepily eying girls they find attractive. They have extreme approach anxiety. If they lose their friends even for a minute, they’ll pace around the bar worried while frantically calling their buddies. I’m familiar with this routine because I used to be one of those guys.
Those guys suck.
2. It Doesn’t Matter How You Start the Conversation. Just Start it.
You can say some of the most ridiculous things to girls to open a conversation. Seriously. It really doesn’t matter. You can simply go up and say “Hey, what’s up?” if you want to. The important thing is that you actually START the conversation and don’t stare at the girl for 2 hours beforehand. You’ll be surprised at how much more fun your nights will be if you can muster up the courage to just say “Hi.”
3. Looks Are Only a Small Factor
This is cliché, but it’s true. Your natural good looks matter much less than your style, grooming, fashion, physique, and body language. The good news is that you don’t need to look like Brad Pitt in order to get these things handled. You simply need to visit a salon, hit a gym, and wear clothes that FIT in order to get on track.
With all of that being said, your physical looks are STILL only a small part of what makes you an attractive man. You must also factor in charisma, passion, purpose, drive, and personality, just to name a few. It is up to YOU, not your genetics, to build yourself into a complete, attractive man. So shut up, get fit, dress well, and take the necessary steps to get your life handled.
4. Unreactiveness is Key
Everybody claims they don’t give a fuck (cool, bro), but most are lying. You actually have to not care. If a girl rejects you, it doesn’t matter. Does not even phase you. Nothing matters because you know deep inside that you can handle everything that comes your way. It’s part of the abundance mentality. If your happiness and fulfillment come from external sources, you will act needy and seek validation.
5. Eye Contact is a Game-Changer
Solid eye contact can completely change the dynamic of an interaction. Through eye contact, you can connect with a person on so many levels without even saying a word. It takes confidence to make and hold eye contact, and whether you realize it or not, it is one of the first things women will notice about you. Stop looking at her cleavage and start making eye contact.
6. There is Such a Thing as Being “In the Zone”
In the zone. It’s when you are completely ON. You can be “in the zone” in everything from athletic to work to social endeavors. When you are “in the zone” socially, everything you say hits perfectly and you are flooded with positive reactions. You almost can’t go wrong. This feeling will likely last all night and you have will an epic time. You get in the zone by being social, talking to people, and naturally having a great time.
7. No Girl is Off-Limits
Men have so many limiting beliefs about women. When considering approaching a girl, they’ll have thoughts like “She’s too hot for me,” “I’m not good-looking enough,” “I don’t know what to say,” and more. The fact is, you won’t know unless you talk to her, so drop your inhibitions and find out. Learn to ignore all of the bullshit thoughts swirling through your head and just go for it.
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