Roaring music, women dressed to the nines, crowded venues, competition from other men…
Nightclubs are a world of their own…and they can be petrifying for some men.
I used to be a little intimidated of them myself. But now I love nightclubs.
I’d even say most of the women I’ve dated have been from nightclubs.
Granted, I used to be TERRIBLE in the nightclub atmosphere. I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
I remember back when I first started “going out.” I’d use lines straight out of The Game, like “Who lies more, men or women?”
But times have changed. Now, I feel natural in the environment and I love the craziness of it all. And I have a lot more success with women.
Over the years, I made A LOT of embarrassing and dumb mistakes with women in nightclubs…and I learned from every single mishap.
I’ve narrowed down some of the most important things you need to do when it comes to attracting women in nightclubs. If you can get most (and eventually all) of these down, you’ll attract more women every time you go out.
1. Dress Well
The way you dress plays a HUGE role in the type of first impression you give off.
I don’t have an amazing fashion sense, and you don’t need to either. A good rule to go by is to dress in a way that does not screw things up for you.
(Guys do this sometimes when they try to “stand out” because they think it gives them an edge.)
At a very basic level, you just need well-fitting clothes that match, and suit the environment you’re in.
Note: It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. Kick the shitty sneakers and go with the nice dress shoes. Break out a button down shirt that actually fits you, and if possible, rock a nice accessory like a watch.
2. Talk Loudly
Leave the whispering to the library. At the nightclub, you need to be LOUD. Even if you think you’re talking loud enough, you probably aren’t.
There’s so much stimulation in this environment. If she can’t hear you, you’ll immediately lose her attention.
You need to talk especially loud when communicating with a group. By doing so, you’ll command their attention and assert your dominance.
Practice speaking from your belly instead of your throat.
3. Get Physical
You should initiate physical touch at the very beginning of your interactions. Just a light touch on the arm is enough to get things started. One thing I like to do is make eye contact with a girl, and then hold my hand out. If you do this confidently, she’ll almost always grab your hand, and then you can lightly pull her closer to you.
If you’re on the dance floor, you can use the “dance floor hip bump.” When you see an attractive girl, just bump her lightly with your hip, step back, and dance for a second (with a big smile on your face). Once she looks back and smiles (she usually will), take her hand, spin her around to face you, and start dancing with her.
The longer you wait to initiate physical touch, the more awkward it becomes, and the harder it will be to escalate physically later in the interaction (you need to touch her before going for the kiss, having sex, etc.).
Women need space and comfort. If you’re constantly “in her grill” she gets neither. That’s where push/pull comes in.
Think of push/pull like taking two steps forward, and one step back. For example, you can compliment a girl, and then, when she makes a joke about you, you can pretend to walk away for a second.
This technique works because women want a man who is a challenge, and a bit witty and funny.
Push/pull is especially important on the dance floor. If you’re dancing up against her all night, it’ll start to get boring and predictable. Plus, you won’t give her a chance to “miss” your touch and close physical presence. So instead, apply the push/pull technique, and step back a few feet every few minutes. She should feel like she still needs to keep winning you over.
5. Lead the Interaction
A lot of guys just “let the night happen to them.” When they hit it off with a girl, they pretty much “hope” that things will fall into place and somehow she’ll go home with him at the end of the night. Don’t be one of those guys.
You need to constantly lead. Feel the interaction stalling out? Take her hand, and move her to the bar, or to the dance floor, and then move her again. Lead and direct the conversation by asking the right questions, and listening and relating to her responses.
When the night is winding down, keep leading. You can say something like, “Let’s get out of here and go have a drink on my rooftop,” or even simply, “Let’s get out of here.”
Women crave a dominant male presence, and they love to let go and let a man confidently lead them. She doesn’t want to have to worry about the next step. That’s your job.
If you confidently lead and say things with conviction, she’ll usually follow your lead (and you might be surprised by how well this works).
6. Be Sociable with Her Friends
If you connect with and attract a woman, there’s usually still another obstacle you face before you’ve “won her over.” Her friends need to accept you.
Ask her whom she came with, and then approach the group of friends and engage them in a short conversation. Once they see that you’re a cool, normal guy, they’ll feel a lot more comfortable letting their friend run around with you, and sometimes they’ll even encourage her to do so.
7. Add Value to Her Night
In the nightclub, most guys have the same boring, interview-mode type conversations that women dread. Within seconds, she’s looking for an easy exit.
Instead, be the guy who adds value to her night. She came out to have a fun time, so bring her along on your fun adventure. Engage her in interesting conversations that allow her to discuss her passions. Spontaneously kiss her. Physically pick her up and laugh about it. Give her the interesting and fun experience she wants to have during a night out.
The first time you approach a girl, it might not always go well. Or maybe it does go well, but one of you leaves the conversation (this usually happens at the beginning of the night, when the two of you still want to bounce around and experience the nightclub before engaging in one long interaction).
As the night goes on, go back and re-approach those women you were attracted to. They’ll usually be more receptive than in your initial approach, and it also exudes confidence that you have the balls to approach them again.