I’m a hypocrite. At least kind of.

You’ve seen me break out of the 9-5 in style, all while trying to become my best self and preaching others to do the same. Living every second like it’s my last and sculpting my story like Michelangelo on the Statue of David.

But I have a confession to make. Breaking out of my 9-5 wasn’t everything I thought it’d be.

My fault? Definitely. I jumped ship too quickly and wasn’t mentally prepared for it. I’m not self-discplined enough, which led to a minimum level of productivity.

I fucked up and I was quickly going broke. My chances of moving to Boston were looking slim. I was slowly falling apart, yet still in denial. As much as it hurts to say, I wasn’t driven enough to take the leap to self employment. At least not yet.

Not fucking driven enough. That’s right, I couldn’t handle it. The prospect of success felt too intangible to work towards. I had less direction than a weather vane in a tornado. All over the place.

I woke up late and felt like the day was lost. Started watching a little more television. Basically didn’t do anything productive. It was a vicious cycle of laziness. It finally came to the breaking point, and I knew it had to end.

I broke out of my 9-5 and meant to become my best self. It started off great, but I quickly ran out of steam.

The jig is up. I am now a member of the employed. “The living dead” as I have previously called it. Excuse me while I tend to my wounded ego.

But I am not stuck in an office all day, working tediously on paper projects that I don’t care about. Instead, I am all over the place, talking to everybody. It’s a very unconventional job and I’m constantly put in uncomfortable situations.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds. Nobody does. I know that I like to create more than consume. I carefully picked a job that not only pays well, but forces me to master an essential skill necessary for bot business and life success.  And, perhaps just as important, it’s really fucking fun.

I’ll explain it in detail in my next post. But I’m loving it so far. And it’s basically my ticket to an apartment in Boston.

I want to create. I want to make a name for myself. I don’t want to work for anyone. I’m still figuring out the process. It’s confusing.

I know one thing. I keep it real as FUCK. I cut the bullshit like few others can. That’s why you read this blog. That’s why I’m good with girls. I say the shit that you’re afraid to say. I blast forward while you’re holding back. Sometimes it fucks me over. But it’s worth it. Because few people are real anymore. There’s too much bullshit. And I think that genuineness will take me to the next step. You should try it.

So I’ll keep on being more transparent than Harry Potter’s invisible cloak.

Yes, I fucked up. But I’m 22. Like my many past mistakes, I will learn from this one. And I will be back with a vengeance. But I definitely have some work to do.

I need to grow and mature, and most importantly, become more self-reliant. This process has been a slap in the face, but it’s time to get back on track. This is a chapter in my story.

My opinion about 9-5 type jobs has not changed. I don’t want to spend my life climbing up a corporate ladder. But for now (meaning the next year), it is a necessary step and will help me build some serious discipline and valuable skills. And if you’re wondering, it’ll definitely give me some hilarious stories and blogworthy material. You won’t be disappointed.

I’ll be posting more often this month. This has been a hectic month with my mom in the hospital, but it’s starting to cool down. I’ve received a ton of emails with well-wishes, and I sicnerely thank everyone for the support. As of right now, I’m trapped in Cleveland for one more day because my flight is delayed. I’ll be back in RI tomorrow, and all bets are off after that.

The deal still stands. If you want me to cover a topic, email me and let me know. Just cut the bullshit already.

Have you jumped the gun too soon on a big life decision? Were you able to swallow your pride and regroup? How has it affected you? Tell us in the comments below!