She’s agreed to hang out with you…
So, what do you do now? How do you plan a good first date?
We’ve seen this scenario plenty of times in movies and TV shows. The guy gets excited and starts racking his brain for the perfect date idea.
But you don’t have to do this. In fact, you shouldn’t.
It’s far better to keep things simple…
Why Your First Dates Should Be Cheap & Simple
When it comes to first dates, the simpler, the better.
The goal isn’t to blow her away with an amazing date idea. You’re not trying to get her out with you for the idea. You’re trying to get her to hang out with you for you. The goal is to have a good interaction with her – one that can potentially lead to sex, a connection, and/or the beginnings of a fulfilling relationship.
And the simpler the date, the easier it is to do this, and the less likely she is to flake on you.
Here’s why you should keep your first dates simple and cheap…
- Expensive dates are bad. The awkwardness of whether you’ll split the bill, the hit on your wallet, and the fact that you’re paying a lot of money for a girl you don’t really know yet – all of these don’t bode well for you. They paint her as the prize, and put a lot of extra pressure on the date.
- Complex dates are bad. These kinds of dates get in the way of connecting with her and leading her, and they also can land you in the friendzone. Complex dates are just unnecessary until you’ve slept with a girl.
- It leaves the door open for first date sex. Cheap and simple dates make it easy for you to lead her and make things sexual. First date sex becomes much easier (more on this later).
5 Cheap & Simple First Date Ideas That Don’t Suck
1. Drinks at a Bar
This is by far my favorite date idea.
Why? The bar is a social environment and it’s low pressure. Unlike dinner, where you’re forced to commit to a 1-2 hour ordeal with a person you know nothing about, drinks are much more casual. If you hate each other, you can leave after the first drink—no harm, no foul.
The other benefit? It’s easy to bounce around. You can grab a drink at one bar, then hop to the next. It’s more of an adventure.
To cheapen this up, see if you can find some happy hours or bars with drink specials. For example, back in Boston I used to have a nice spot with $4 margarita specials.
Here are a few tips for the drinks date:
- Try not to get more than one round of drinks in the same spot. You should either switch bars after the first round, or have a round of drinks by the pool table/other interesting location of the bar. If you keep getting rounds while sitting in the same place, the date will get stagnant.
- Split the rounds. When the bill for the first round comes out, you can say, “I’ll get this round, you get the next?” Usually, women will be cool with this. Occasionally they’ll get pissed, but that’s probably because they have some sort of stick up their ass, and it probably wouldn’t have worked out between the two of you anyway.
- Sit next to her at the bar. The closer the proximity between you, the easier it will be to build a connection with her.
2. Ice Cream
Ice cream is a good date, especially if it’s during the daytime. It’s cheap, it’s easy, and it’s casual.
Plus, if either of the two of you aren’t 21 years old yet, you can still get into the ice cream shop.
Here’s a tip for the ice cream date:
Have a plan for afterwards. Ice cream usually won’t take longer than 15-20 minutes. So, maybe you grab a couple of cones then walk to a nearby park. Or perhaps you lead her around the corner to your place for an early glass of wine. Whatever the case, have a plan for after the ice cream shop.
3. The “Take Her With You” Date
You don’t necessarily have to plan out an actual date. You can just bring her along to something you were already doing.
This saves your time, positions you as more of the prize, and doesn’t require any extra planning.
For example, if you have to go shopping for some new clothes, you can say something like, “I’m heading to the mall to do some shopping for new clothes. You want to come with and we can grab some ice cream afterwards?”
It positions you as the prize because you’re not chasing at all. In fact, you’re doing the exact opposite. You’re living your life and taking her along for the ride.
4. Live Music
When a venue has live music, it can be a fun atmosphere for a date. Ideally, the music isn’t so loud that you can’t talk over it. You don’t want to be shouting at your girl the whole time.
There are plenty of bars with live music nights in every city, so do a little research and find good options in your area. Live-band karaoke can be a great time too.
Here, I’m referring to things like:
- Farmer’s market
- Window shopping
- Botanical garden
- Flea market
- Walking in the park
- Walking through the city
In all of these cases, you’re doing a little exploring. It’s fun, casual, and again, cheap.
These types of dates can be great for guys who are on the beginner end of the spectrum. If you’re not totally comfortable in conversation, this type of date will give you tons of stuff to talk about in terms of your surroundings. So, the conversation is less likely to go stale.
They’re also great for when you and the girl have a bit of a language barrier. That’s because all of the pressure isn’t on the quality of the conversation.
Should You Try and Bring Her Home on the First Date?
This is one of the big questions guys have with first dates.
The short answer? Yes, absolutely.
The sooner you have sex with her, the better. There are a few reasons for this:
- Attraction has an expiration date. If you don’t move fast with a woman, her attraction will expire. It doesn’t last forever. And when it does expire, your chances will be gone.
- You discover the sexual chemistry (or lack thereof). Some people have sexual chemistry, and others just don’t. What I’ve found is that the conversational and emotional chemistry I have with a girl usually correlates to sexual chemistry (and good sex), but not always. Sometimes, the pieces just don’t “fit” together well, if you know what I mean. So, the quicker you discover whether or not the two of you have sexual chemistry, the better. And the first date is better than the 7th or 8th.
- It kills any chance of you getting in the friendzone. If you have sex with a girl, and do it well, you will be solidly removed from the friendzone (that is, unless you act super needy afterwards).
- Studies have shown that women like dominant men. Dominant men go for what they want. If you want sex with her and you don’t at least try to make a move, you’ll lose a lot of points with her. (Note: if she gives you any of these 5 signs, then it’s time to make the move.)
In fact, if you’ve been on more than 3 dates with a girl and you still haven’t had sex yet, it likely means at least one of the following:
- You don’t know how to lead her and make a move
- You’re really shitty at planning dates
- She (and/or you) has some type of hang-up about sex
- She’s a virgin
More often than not, it’s on you. But sometimes, women will have hang-ups about sex. It’s up to you if you want to deal with and work through those hangups. For me, I just move on because it’s a clear signal that she and I aren’t compatible. And so, it’s a waste of my time.
If you want to learn how to have more first date sex, read this post: 7 Keys to a Better Quality First Date