When it comes to attracting and connecting with women a few guys “get it”, but the vast majority don’t.
Those who “get it” enjoy abundance with women. Fulfilling relationships, amazing sex, and exciting adventures.
Those who “don’t” are forced to settle with women below their standards – if they can even attract one at all… or if they even have standards.
There are many differences between these two groups of men. If you’re wondering which group you belong to, ask yourself if you’re meeting your definition of success with women. If the answer is “no,” you’re one of the guys who doesn’t get it.
But that’s okay – it doesn’t have to stay that way.
You see, guys who “get it” understand something that most other guys don’t…
And if you can understand this particular element and apply it to your life, you can vastly improve your dating landscape.
What is this element I’m referring to?
In order to be truly successful with women you need to become a man who loves women.
You see, a woman can feel the difference when she’s interacting with a man who genuinely loves women, and one who does not.
She quickly develops trust with the man who loves women. She can sense he has no ulterior motive, he enjoys the moment, he understands her, and he appreciates her beauty. And as a result, she is more comfortable moving things further with this man.
She never truly feels comfortable around the man who does not love women. She can sense he is not truly comfortable in her world, he is out for some ulterior motive (e.g. proving himself to himself or his friends), he doesn’t understand her, and his mind is in another place. As a result, she usually doesn’t want to move forward with this man.
You need to learn how to love women.
Why You Should Learn to Love Women
The biggest change in my “game” and relationships came when I started loving women. Before that, I was out to rack up notches in the bed post, trying to “take” validation from women, and overall just sucking value from them.
Here’s how things can change for you when you start genuinely loving women:
- You’ll earn more trust, more quickly with women
- You’ll have more enjoyment from your experiences
- Better relationships
- Warmer reactions and more flirtation
- Free yourself from bitterness towards women
- And a lot more…
Why Most Guys Have Trouble Loving Women
There are a few reasons guy have trouble genuinely loving women.
- Bitterness. They’ve been rejected or hurt in the past, and now they hold a grudge against women. They want to “get back” at women for all the pain they’ve caused.
- Inexperience. They haven’t dealt with women enough, and so they struggle to understand them.
- Stubbornness. They refuse to acknowledge that women are emotional creatures. They deal with problems and decisions differently they men do. Stubborn men get bent out of shape when women don’t act logically.
- Insecurity. They’re pursuing women to “complete” themselves or make themselves feel like they’re “okay”.
If you want to love women, you need to work through these things. You see, any man can love women when he’s having tons of sex, getting eye contact left and right, and hanging with high quality women. But you also need to learn to love them in the tough times.
How to Genuinely Love Women
Think back to your failures with women… There was always a reason for your failure. Sometimes you had control, and sometimes it was out of your control. But you have to remove the blame from women and put it on yourself. For example:
- You approach a girl at the bar, but you’re a little drunk and you’re intention is off. You’re more interested in getting validation from the girl instead of actually getting to know her. She feels this from your vibe, reacts coldly, and quickly turns away. Why would she want a man who seeks validation and is uncertain of his intention?
- You’re on a date with a girl, and the conversation is going well. You start telling her about your proudest accomplishments and hinting at how much money you make. She smiles and nods, but doesn’t text you back after the date. Why would she want a man who feels the need to constantly impress her? She can sense the insecurity.
- You’re sleeping with a girl and you start to become infatuated with her. You think about her all the time, and heap affection on her whenever you can. She seems happy at first, but quickly becomes more and more distant. Eventually, she backs off and asks for some time apart. Why would she want a man who makes a woman his main purpose?
These are situations where you’d be tempted to become bitter towards women. But instead, you need to manage your emotions, shift your perspective, and accept responsibility.
Understand That Women are Emotional
Women are emotional creatures, and you can’t blame them for it. The way you analyze situations and problems is much different – much more logical – than the way women do.
And so, you must cater to their emotions when interacting with and attracting them. Remember: women care more about the way you make them feel than your “stats” and accomplishments. That is the secret to connecting. When they feel that you understand this, they’ll relate to you more and mentally put you in the group of guys who “get it”.
You also need to be aware of this in your general interactions with women. She might say one thing one day based on how she feels, then say something completely different the next day – just because her emotions shifted. You need to have patience here.
Appreciate Her Beauty
When you’re interacting with a beautiful woman, a lot of things can be going through your head…
“Does she like me?” “Should I try to kiss her?” “What should I talk about?” “What if she thinks I’m boring?”
All of these thoughts rob you of being in the moment – and she can sense it. Instead of focusing on these thoughts, focus on appreciating her beauty.
What do you like about her? Do her eyes draw you in and captivate you? Is her smile contagious? Is her rhythm sexy? Does she make you laugh? Bring these thoughts to the forefront of your mind.
As you appreciate her inner and outer beauty, you’ll be more in tune with your natural male instincts.
For me, it always brings a smile to my face and leads me to make strong eye contact. It allows me to be more free flowing and in the moment as well.
Have a Mission Outside of Women
You need to have a mission in life outside of women. Otherwise, you will be too tempted to give up on your passions and your direction in life and focus completely on women. Women will sense that they are the center of your world, and you won’t be able to genuinely love them. Instead, you will rely on them to fill needs that they cannot fill. You will mistake your neediness for love, and this will undermine your relationships.
Loving women is a tough concept to grasp. If you don’t have a lot of experience or you hold bitterness, it’s even tougher. But this is something you must put into practice.
The more you come to love women, the better and more fulfilling your dating life and relationships will be.