We sat in the movie theater holding hands. I was a year older than her, so I’m sure she thought I knew how to kiss a girl.

I could feel her glancing at me from the corner of my eye. It was obvious that she wanted me to make a move.

I ignored her glance for as long as possible, because I had no idea how to kiss a girl. I felt like if I kissed her, I’d be exposed. How could a 10th grader still not know how to kiss a girl?!

Some friends had told me that you just need to “stick your tongue in her mouth and move it clockwise.” That’s about the only knowledge I had to go off of.

I couldn’t ignore her sideways glances for any longer without feeling like a wuss. So, I checked my ego, and went in for the kiss.

Just like my friends had advised, I stuck my tongue right in there and turned it clockwise and counterclockwise, attacking her mouth like a cyclone. “This is easy!” I thought. “I’m really getting the hang of this!”

I thought for sure I was doing a great job, and she seemed to like it too.


A few hours later, I sat home with excitement. I’d finally kissed a girl and done well.

Then, a message popped up on my computer. It was her…

“I just want to tell you… you are one HELL of a bad kisser.”

My heart dropped. Apparently, I still didn’t have the slightest idea of how to kiss a girl.

That’s when I began to realize just how important kissing really is…


The way you kiss tells a woman a lot about the way you have sex.

If you’re careless and not in the moment, she’ll assume you’re the same way in bed.

But if you give her a passionate, dominant kiss, you’ll get her wet with anticipation.

In this article, we’ll talk about how to become a great kisser so you can turn her on from the first kiss…

Bonus: Get free access to my new course and learn the 5 conversation mistakes that put you in the friendzone.

How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time

First, you should understand that different environments call for different types of kisses. For example, your kiss in a nightclub should be different than your kiss in the bedroom.

More specifically, you should kiss a girl differently in situations where sex is immediately possible (like when you’re in a bedroom or a private place) versus when it is not (you’re at a bar or some other public place).

I’ll talk first about how to kiss a girl in a public place. This will be the bulk of your first kisses with women.

For how to kiss a girl in a situation where sex is possible, you can start right off the sexual kiss (which you’ll learn about in a minute).

Here’s how to go in for a normal first kiss…

Pause and look into her eyes. Stop talking for a couple of seconds and look into her eyes. Lower your eyelids slightly and notice what you find sexy about her. This will make your eye contact more sexual.

Pull her in physically. Hold her by the small of her back and gently pull her in towards you with one hand.

Start the kiss lightly, with low intensity. Go in light – this will allow you to gradually build up to a deeper kiss.

Lightly nibble on her lip. Gently nibble on her lower lip. Make sure to do it lightly otherwise you might give her a fat lip which is a big time mood killer.

Use a little bit of tongue. Open your mouth slightly and use a little bit of tongue. Don’t jam it in there like a cyclone (like I used to do), but instead use it lightly and just kind of poke it in a little bit to give her a preview.

Be the first to pull away (after 5-10 seconds). You don’t need on a full on 5-minute long make out here. Maintain control and keep the sexual tension alive by being the first one to pull away.

The goal here is to not just enjoy the kiss, but also use it to build sexual tension. Where other men want to keep kissing her for minutes at a time and give all of the control and validation to the girl, you don’t give in so easily. You maintain control by being the first one to pull back, and also by avoiding giving her your “full kiss”. It’s better to save that for the sexual kiss that we’re going to talk about next.

The result? You keep her intrigued and wanting more. Instead of defusing the sexual tension (which typically happens after one or two long make-outs because the girl now is 100% sure that you want to fuck her), you actually create more sexual tension. You tease her with a small kiss and get her thinking about the big passionate kiss that could be coming soon.

And that passionate, sexual kiss is what we’ll talk about next…

Mastering The “Sexual” Kiss

After you tease her with the “normal kisses” throughout the night, you can transition to a sexual kiss once sex is on the table (i.e. the two of you are back at your place or her’s).

This kiss basically leads right into sex. It’s intense, sexual, and has lots of physical and intimate contact. You’re finally giving her the “full kiss” she’s been craving all night.

Still not sure exactly when to use this kiss? Check out this post: When to Kiss a Girl (Don’t Make This Common Mistake)

Here’s how to master the sexual kiss and turn her on…

Grab and hold her hair from the roots. The majority of women love dominant men, and so, they like it at least a little bit rough. Well, when you hold her hair from the roots while kissing her, it shows that you’re a dominant man and this will turn her on. Note that you don’t need to hold your hand there the whole time – you can switch between periods of holding it for a few seconds to cause her to tilt her head, and letting it go.

Tilt your head at a deeper angle. With the normal kiss, you only need to tilt your head enough to not bump her nose straight on, because you’re not going for a deep kiss. But the sexual kiss is more passionate and deep, and to get deeper, you’ll need to tilt your head more than before.

Hold her more tightly. Bring her in with a little more force than with the normal kiss. Then, hold her more tightly while kissing her, and reach down and grab her ass with one of your hands. The increased physical contact will turn her on and make the kiss more passionate.

Open your mouth wider. You only opened your mouth slightly and used a little bit of tongue with the normal kiss. But here, you’ll open it a bit more widely (not all the way – you’re not at the dentist here), and use more tongue. This makes the kiss more intense and sexual. When you use your tongue, use it in a playful way with her tongue. You can lick her tongue, flick it with the tip of your tongue, and explore her mouth a little bit.

Suck on her tongue. This is a technique I learned from one of my first college girlfriends. It works like this: when her tongue is in your mouth, close your lips on it and make a light sucking movement. Do it for just a second or two – that’s all you’ll need. It adds some uniqueness and intensity to the kiss, and shows her that you’re savvy in this area.

Kiss her ears and neck. Pull back occasionally and kiss her neck and ears. You can even give her a gentle bite as well – just try not to make a mark and give her a hickey (unless you want her to give you one in return). Kissing her neck and ears like this is a great way to turn her on and start transitioning to sex.

Pick her up and have her wrap her legs around you. This is one of the best ways to transition from the sexual kiss to actually having sex. In the midst of the kiss, you pick her up, put her legs around you, and walk her to the bed.

Wrapping Up How to Kiss Her for the First Time and Turn Her On…

“Fireworks? Girl, I thought those were just the sparks between us ;)”

Women will judge you by the quality of your kissing, so you need to get good at it. Otherwise, you’ll turn women off with your kiss instead of getting them amped up sexually.

The first kiss will usually be in a public place. So here, you’ll want to use the kiss to build sexual tension and maintain control of the situation. Because if you go for the sexual kiss when sex isn’t immediately possible, you’ll defuse the tension and give her too much validation, at which point sex will become unlikely.

The sexual kiss is the one you should save for when sex is on the table (i.e. the two of you are in private). It amplifies the sexual tension, gets her extremely turned on, and can easily be transitioned into sex.