Amidst these years of travel, I’ve spent most of the past year in Spanish speaking countries (Spain and Colombia). And I’ve also picked up a conversational level of Spanish.
Communicating with women in a foreign language has taught me some valuable lessons – lessons you can use to improve your skills with women and have a more fulfilling dating life.
With this in mind, here are 5 lessons I’ve learned from picking up women in a foreign language…
1. Verbal Communication is Essential
You’ve probably heard of studies that say “95% of communication is non-verbal.”
But tell me, if you try and watch a movie in a different language (without subtitles), will you understand 95% of it?
Sure, there are a lot of things you can and should communicate non-verbally (like your sexy vibe). But in order to truly connect with a woman, you need to use your words.
This is how you find out her deeper aspirations, her personality, and whether or not she’s the type of girl for you.
This is how you ask her the questions that will give the interaction a deeper meaning.
When speaking in a language you aren’t fluent in, you’re limited. Eventually, you’ll start running out of things to say, simply because you don’t know enough words.
And it’s a reminder – knowing how to communicate verbally is crucial when it comes to attracting and connecting with women.
So, don’t underestimate this area of communication – and don’t give too much heed to the non-verbal studies.
2. Talking to Women is the Best Way to Learn a Foreign Language
I spent three years studying Spanish in high school – and remembered none of it. But after a month of picking up Spanish-speaking girls in Colombia, I became conversationally fluent.
It’s all about motivation.
There is nothing that helps you learn a language and culture quicker than communicating with the women there.
When you go out and know that your chances of meeting a girl are directly dependent on your ability to speak at least some of the language, you end up learning a lot quicker.
3. Basic Phrases Go a Long Way
You don’t need to be totally fluent in a foreign language to meet women abroad.
Just by knowing a few basic phrases, you’ll give yourself an edge over other guys. You’ll show that you actually care about the culture and took time to learn it (unlike most tourists).
A few words can go a long way and help you make a great first impression. For example, in Medellin, Colombia, women are happy even if you speak very broken Spanish.
Here are some good phrases to learn to get you started:
- “How’s it going?”
- “What’s your name?”
- “Do you speak English?”
- “I’m from [where you’re from].”
- “What do you do here?”
- “Are you adventurous?”
- “What part of the city do you live in?”
4. You Must Embrace the Impermanence of Everything
When you’re traveling and meeting women around the world, relationships are very transient.
At most, they can usually only last a few months – depending on how long you’re staying in the country.
If you’re the type of dude who gets attached easily, this can be daunting to deal with. You go from being close with a cool girl, to being on the other side of the globe. Suddenly, the dynamic drastically shifts and it’s almost impossible to keep it going (nevermind the huge downsides of a long-distance relationship).
So, when you meet an awesome girl and make a deep connection, you must be ready to embrace impermanence.
Impermanence is a fact of life, whether you’re meeting an awesome foreign girl for a short time, or whether you’re in it with a girl for the long haul.
Think about it: Even if the two of you fall in love and get married for 60 years, you can’t live forever. At some point, it will be over.
Acknowledge and accept this truth. Accept that things can and will be different than they are now.
Embrace change and allow it to happen, instead of hanging on and resisting it.
A helpful thought is, “This is amazing, but I know nothing lasts forever, and that’s okay.”
5. Leading is Key
No matter what language you’re speaking, leading is essential.
Even if you don’t fully know where you’re going, you can make it up as you go.
When you don’t speak the language fluently, you have to do it moreso with your body language, and you have to be a bit more enthusiastic.
But if you know how to lead women with conviction, you can get them to follow even if you can’t communicate verbally 100%.
I learned these lessons from communicating in a different language – but you can apply them to all your interactions with women.
Use these to take your dating life to the next level.