**This is a guest post from Brian Pippard of Date Quality Women***
Not too long ago, I hopped on the subway… and the girl standing in front of me was beautiful!
She was trying to hide it but I could tell from her body language that she was interested.
I thought, “Hmmm… this woman is cute and seems to want me to talk to her… I think I will!” Just then, the train started moving and she grabbed one of the swinging handles to stop herself from falling.
THAT’S WHEN I SAW IT…
It looked like a sweaty, unbathed Chewbacca had been living in her underarm for years! I swear I heard it go “ARGHGHGHGH!” when she lifted her arm up.
Now, I know women have pit hair just like guys do. They just usually take care of that and I’ve come to expect them to because of it.
Once I got over my initial shock I got myself together and thought, “Well… maybe the pit thing is something we can work out.”
Then, I thought “Nah! It’s not likely any woman I could date long term would let as essential a thing as basic socially-acceptable hygiene practices slip. (I mean… what if she lets her teeth go “au naturel” too?!)
It’s also unlikely that if we don’t have the same values on this aspect then we likely also don’t have them in other parts of our lives either. There’s a good chance this is the tip of the iceberg of unawareness or disagreements on social and other sensibilities.
To me, there’s NO WAY she’s a quality woman.
So, we didn’t talk.
I just waited until I reached my stop and got off the subway wondering “what could have been if not for those pit monsters?”
What is a Quality Woman?
To me, it means: a woman I could potentially see myself exploring a long term relationship with. I’ve also asked HUNDREDS of guys what it means to them and each has had his own answer. But, almost ALL have told me that it comes down to her having the personality and values that match what they are looking for.
Sure, attractiveness is important… but guys generally agree that we prefer a less physically attractive woman with the right personality and values over a really hot one who doesn’t.
But, it usually takes A LOT of time and effort to find out what her personality is REALLY like! There must be a quicker way!
Thankfully, today, I have 11 signs for you to know IMMEDIATELY if she’s a quality woman for you or not!
How to Tell if She’s a Quality Girl – 11 Easy Signs
AT A GLANCE:
1. She Seems To Have The Same Values As You
Why: Having common values and lifestyle is HUGELY important to you getting along and potentially creating a relationship.
For example, if you value eating healthy and staying fit but she doesn’t… it’s going to be hard for your lifestyles to mesh and for you to last in the long run.
If you like being social because it’s fun and makes you MUCH more attractive to her but she’s a homebody… again, it’s going to be difficult to enjoy a similar lifestyle and each other’s company.
If you’re into sports and she’s into modern art… I think you get the idea.
Caveat: Just because she SEEMS like she has the same values as you doesn’t mean that she does. You still need to find out for sure. And each woman is different, even if they seem alike.
2. You Would Take Her On Three Dates / She Is Attractive Enough To Take On Three Dates
Why: If a woman isn’t attractive enough for you to invest taking her on three dates before having the chance to sleep with her… then you likely aren’t going to be really excited about investing long term in her, either.
Often in the past, I’ve found that when it worked out with women I was only somewhat attracted to, I often thought “Is THAT what all the work was for?” When it didn’t, I often thought “Why did I waste my time on a woman I knew I wasn’t really that interested in?!”
The “Three Date Rule” helps save time and effort by filtering quickly for women who, if things go well, you might be interested in more with. And, it’s not like the dates need to be expensive or impressive. They can just be fun and cheap while giving you a chance to connect!
I’m not saying you NEED to wait three dates before going for it with her – just that it’s best she is attractive enough to you if you HAD to wait three dates, you wouldn’t mind.
Caveat: Just because she’s attractive enough for you to be willing to go on three dates with to find out if she’s cool or not, doesn’t mean that she is! Her personality still might not be awesome or mesh with yours.
3. She Seems Confident About How She Looks
Why: One of the biggest killers of relationships is insecurity. This goes for men and women. Insecurity leads people to put their value and acceptance of themselves in what other people think and that leads to a need for validation… which is an energy suck for their partner.
If she seems like, despite whatever other shortcomings she may have, she is confident and happy with herself… then it’s likely you’ll never have to deal with this insecurity and the problems that come with it. Surprisingly, even VERY attractive women are often insecure about this because they compare themselves to other VERY attractive women, as well.
Caveat: The women who are clearly not that attractive but act like “I’m all that! Men can’t handle this!” usually aren’t very confident at all. They are overcompensating and you can tell the difference.
4. She Shares Her Opinion AND Listens To Others Attentively
Why: There’s nothing less attractive, and potentially annoying, than someone who does ALL the talking in a conversation while no one else can get a word in. These people tend to be narcissistic, pushy, and/or close minded.
Likewise, someone who NEVER pipes up and gives her opinion seems meek and not confident enough to share hers. This could be due to insecurity, lack of confidence, or just an inability to communicate well.
Neither of these are really things you want to deal with in a partner or help make for a great relationship.
Caveat: Just because she can share and listen doesn’t mean that she’ll have great opinions or appreciate others. She may just be polite. It’s up to you to gauge.
5. She is Polite
Why: Politeness is an understated value in people. Being able to be polite JUST BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO shows that she likely has good morals, respects people, and will treat them and you well.
Using pleasantries, holding the door, and/or helping someone who she doesn’t have to shows that she is considerate – she doesn’t view herself as the center of the world. This will likely lead to her being considerate to you and not make you put her as the center of your world, either.
Caveat: Being polite is a good measure of overall sociability and gauge of character but it doesn’t mean that she’ll be an overly kind or compassionate person. She might just have been raised with good manners and other parts of her character might not be as sweet.
6. She Doesn’t Speak Obnoxiously Loud Or Painfully Soft
Why: There’s a difference between talking at an assertive volume and trying to get the attention of everyone in the room. People who tend to be overly loud often want attention. This is because they are insecure and want validation.
Alternatively, people who talk at such a low volume that they are difficult to hear often aren’t confident enough in their opinions. If she does this, you likely won’t get a straight story from her in the future when there is a problem and/or she likely won’t take issues to you until they become major.
Caveat: Some girls, especially when they are in groups and interested in guys near them, will talk louder and laugh more than they need to in order to get the attention of the guys nearby. This is so they can show they are fun, playful, and social – so that you’ll want to meet them – so make sure you notice the difference!
WHEN YOU TALK TO HER:
7. She Isn’t Immediately Rude Or Dismissive
Why: This shows people skills, open-mindedness, and an understanding/appreciation of how much courage it takes to start a convo with someone new you find attractive.
She may not be particularly interested in how you look, your approach, or she may even be having a bad day but if she is at least
polite and open-minded enough to give you a smidgen of a chance then she is wise enough to know that just may be the chance you and her both need to find your ideal partners.
Caveat: Even if it isn’t going really well, remember: “If She’s Staying; She’s Playing” – meaning that if isn’t leaving or telling you to leave then she’s giving you a chance, regardless of how it seems.
8. She Doesn’t Respond To “Negs”
Why: Quality women want to have a relationship built with them, not have themselves torn down by someone who doesn’t feel worthy or secure around them. This may work with insecure or not completely emotionally healthy women but not with the best ones.
They recognize that relationships are built on positive, genuine interactions and go for men that are confident enough to create these with them. They can still tease and enjoy some good banter but recognize guys trying to be mean to manipulate them for what it is.
Caveat: This doesn’t mean not to tease or banter with them playfully, it means to come from a good place and have fun with it rather than trying to manipulate them and make them feel bad. They can tell the difference.
9. She Doesn’t Respond To Bragging
Why: Most quality women know that “a rich man doesn’t need to tell you that he’s rich”. Meaning: if someone is awesome then it will come through in who they are, how they live, and how they interact with you – not by them telling you about it.
Quality women know relationships aren’t based solely on accomplishments and money and that most guys who try to impress them with bragging often do it out of insecurity.
Caveat: This doesn’t mean that you don’t need to show that you are a man of value with friends, status, or that you have a fulfilling life. It means you can show her by inviting her into your life and having her enjoy these with you rather than by telling her to try to impress her.
10. She Can Accept A Genuine and Personal Compliment
Why: Secure people are comfortable hearing good things about themselves and appreciate those who go out of their way to do so.
They also appreciate someone making an effort to understand them, especially if it’s a small detail that other people rarely notice.
This is especially true if it is genuine, unique, and about something that they chose or had to earn… like a fashion choice, an opinion, or a personal accomplishment.
Caveat: Making impersonal and general compliments like “You’re so beautiful” won’t get you very far. For example, something VERY specific like: “You have a very exotic look about you… I can’t quite place it but, if I had to, I’d guess that you have some kind of Persian like ancestry? Somewhere around there?” will lead to much better results even if you’re wrong… as long as you aren’t offensive!
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
11. Her Shoes
Why: Women “obsess” over shoes for a reason. They say a lot about people. They tell us what someone’s priority is. For example: runners = comfort, high heels = style, hiking shoes = durability.
Depending on the situation and outfit, shoes can tell us SO MUCH about the person. Are they in style? Are they clean? Do they go with the outfit or stand out on purpose or unfashionably? This small detail gives you a hint into her and her personal life.
A woman who has a great outfit but bad shoes tells me that she doesn’t understand the importance of small details. A woman who has a casual style but tops it off with a wonderful pair of shoes shows that she knows how to make the most of the little things and likely will find other ways to in her life.
Caveat: Just because she wears nice shoes doesn’t mean she has great character, ok? It might just mean she pays good attention to her fashion… but to me… a quality woman ought to!
By using these 11 signs you’ll save A TON of time figuring out if she’s a quality girl . You’ll avoid a lot of frustration in identifying and dating women who have potential to be your dream woman!
After all, getting laid is nice… but getting laid with someone who it is exciting to get to know and build a relationship with… is EVEN BETTER!
Do you have a favorite way to quickly tell if a woman is quality to you or not? Let me know in the comments below!
***11 MORE BONUS SIGNS: I actually have 22 signs to EASILY tell if she is a quality girl. Want the other 11? Get them free here.***
Brian Pippard helps single men date quality women so they can find their dream woman at Date Quality Women. He also offers a free attractiveness to HOT women boosting audio which programs your subconscious to naturally have attractive body language, tone-of-voice, and conversations so you stop getting nervous, rejected, and friend-zoned with HOT women.