This is a guest article from Sarah Jones. Sarah is the founder of Introverted Alpha, where she helps smart introverted men attract women naturally. 

It’s 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, and you can’t do anything but compulsively check your phone every 5 seconds.

You met a really cute girl Friday night, and you worked up the nerve to get her number. That was awesome! The fact that she hasn’t texted you back is less than awesome.

At this point, you’re feeling afraid you did something wrong. You’re replaying the night you met her over and over in your head, looking for where you might have slipped up and lost your chance to hear back from her.

Or was it what you texted?

You reread the text you sent her.

You think, “This looks good enough, right? So what’s the issue? Or am I just being crazy and she’s busy and will text me later? Right, people are busy on the weekends. I should just stop worrying so much.

Easier said than done, as anyone in your shoes knows.

It’s unsettling and frustrating not to know what happened, and it’s hard not to obsess over every little move you made, but usually to no avail.

Did I do x wrong, did y happen?

It gets more far-fetched as you go: “Did aliens abduct her, or did I just have bad breath?

Like anything in life, knowledge is power.

Once you know all the possibilities of what could be going on and can sort your way through them, you can rest easy… oftentimes even before you hear back from her.

You’ll also make hearing back more likely, which — once you’re a badass who knows what happened and why — is icing on the cake.

This is a long-term skill you’re building, so it’s gratifying and helpful to understand the in’s and out’s of what could be going on in different scenarios you find yourself in.

Bonus: Get free access to my new course and discover the 5 conversation mistakes that put you in the friendzone.

There are 3 potential reasons why you’ve not heard back from her yet.

Here’s each possibility with an analysis of what happened in each case as well as what to do next:

Possibility #1: She liked you at first, but her interest fizzled before you got her number.

What happened here?

You got her initial intrigue and interest, enough to keep the conversation going and get some laughs from her. It was a great vibe.

Even so, you noticed once you were well into your conversation, she seemed to be losing interest. You felt less connected to her.

Her body was away from you, and she seemed distracted. When you went to get her number, she gave it to you, but without seeming excited about it and maybe even a little hesitant like, “Well… okay.

If you noticed these signs, either you had a lot or a little of her interest in the beginning, but you didn’t develop the connection enough to sustain her interest right before and after you got her number.

What to do in the future:

The best thing you can do is improve your awareness of your dynamic with women, noticing her body language, and how connected you feel through your words and your touch.

If the connection starts to wane, relax and regroup. Remember what she seemed into earlier, and bring that back into the conversation. For example, if she lit up when she talked about dancing, painting, or that summer when she lived with her sister, bring that back in with an invitation like, “Tell me more about x.

If you’re not touching her as much as you’d like, find a way to gently touch her on the arm, hand, or knee when you share a laugh or when you lean in to hear each other better.

What to do now:

Text her an acknowledgement that the connection kind of broke down and you want to liven it back up.

Something like, “Hey [Her Name], it was a little (loud / hectic / etc) in there Friday night, and I didn’t get to connect with you as much as I wanted, though (x compliment about her / she intrigued you). Drinks this week?

Possibility #2: You were great in person but got weird in your texts.

What happened here?

She really liked you. You two had a great connection in person, but when it came to texting, you did something weird.

Your text didn’t match the vibe she felt with you. This happens if you get really nervous or awkward with it.

For example, maybe your text was too much at once, like a giant wall of text. Shorter is sexier.

Maybe you waited WAY too long to text her, and she’d already given up on you. Delaying more than a few hours weakens the connection she feels with you.

What to do in the future:

If you’re not sure how to text a woman after meeting, you really need to check out Dave’s Texting Cheat Sheet.

If you already have it, it’s worth a review. It’s so good! My favorites are #1, 15, and 16.

Dave’s suggestion for what to text if you met her at night is, “Hey [Her Name], get home safe? – [Your Name]

I love that because it’s so chivalrous and simple. Really nice.

What to do now:

If you know you had a great connection but then something broke down with your texts, then here’s what I’d do:

If you sent her a long-winded giant wall of text, you can say something like, “Hey [Her Name], I talk / write a lot when I get nervous. Clearly. But once I calm down a bit, I promise I’m charming as hell, and I’d love to charm you. What do you say to drinks this week?

If you waited more than a day to text her, you can say something like, “Hey [Her Name], sorry I disappeared. I didn’t want to appear over-eager, but in the process I think I went to the other extreme. The truth is I really like you and want to see you again. Drinks this week?

Possibility #3: You did nothing wrong, and it’s time to scope it out.

What happened here?

She liked you, you had a great connection, your texts were great… and there’s nothing wrong.

She’s either about to text you but is held up with something, or maybe something came up.

This is what’s most likely when it just doesn’t seem right that she’s not texting back because you had such a great connection.

How do you know if this is the case?

When you replay your interaction, if everything checks out and looks good, either something came up that has pulled her away for a bit but is no big deal.

Or maybe something came up that might have affected how she feels about you but is out of your control or responsibility, like she started seeing someone or was already seeing someone.

What to do in the future & now:

Check out what’s going on by texting her something like, “Hey [Her Name], I loved meeting you the other night and felt a great connection with you. I was hoping to hear back from you by now and have it narrowed to two possibilities: did you get abducted by aliens or lose your phone (not that you’d be able to text me back in either of those cases)?

After considering all three possibilities, which one do you think it is for you? If this has happened several times (in which case, great job on closing consistently), do you see a pattern?

If you can identify at what stage you tend to get tripped up and then iron that out using the tips above, you’ll be on your way to a phone blowing up with texts from beautiful, interested women whenever you want.

Want to build not only your texting skills, but also your approach, flirting, and closing skills as well? Go here to get Sarah’s free Introverted Alpha 5-day email training.